1. Get over the idea that Fat Is Killing Me. Fat is not killing me. The stress of life as a person in a fat-bigoted culture is killing me.
2. Can the melodrama and the guilt-trips and the If You Loved Me You'd Lose Weight scenes. Good intentions don't make it any less painful and humiliating.
3. Know that I'm the best judge of what's best for my body. I live here!
4. Accept that I am not "slowly killing myself with food." Not all fat people have eating disorders and skinny people die of heart attacks too.
5. If you believe I'm in crisis, get help. Otherwise, respect my decisions when it comes to managing my health and allow me to set my own boundaries when it comes to others' input.
6. Respect me as I am. Not in spite of the fat. I'm a person; the fat is tissue.
7. Anyone who says fat people cost taxpayers more money is talking out of their ass. That idea's based on two flawed assumptions -- being fat makes a person less healthy, and treating a fat person is more expensive than treating a skinny one.
8. Keep in mind that my situation is unique, and resist the temptation to compare me to someone you've met or heard of.
9. While we're on that subject, keep in mind that most of the people involved in the health and fitness industry are either salespeople or people who make their living by their bodies (athletes, performers, etc).
10. It's okay for you to find fat unattractive or ugly. Recognize that that's a matter of personal taste on your part and not a moral failing on mine.